Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
