Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
