happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
