Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
