I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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