I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I will be naked everywhere
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
