Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
