Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize