everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize