so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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