I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize