I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
