Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
