That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
