i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Panties = found
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
