Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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