I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
