I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
