Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
