Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
