You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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