do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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