I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
