I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She just used a chaser for red wine.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
