wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize