is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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