kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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