Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
