We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
