She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well you can't waste a boner
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
