Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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