i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
