Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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