Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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