one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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