I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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