I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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