I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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