My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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