Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
