Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
