I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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