The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
