atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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