I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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