oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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