i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She bit a glass in half.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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