His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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