She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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