The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
