I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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