Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We are two peas in an std pod
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
