guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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