My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
