cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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