id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
