I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
