I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize