plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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