that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
