Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
