What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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