i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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